"I dont know why I bothered. They despise me - if not myself then the self they knew in their own time for his atrocities." He pauses, intent on keeping the remainder of his self-reflection to, well, himself. His heart ticks per second.

He swallows.

"Ever since I found out about all the awful things my older self has done, I've done nothing but insist that it wasn't me, that I shouldn't be judged for those heinous crimes I had not committed. I thought I should be absolved of that guilt."

...

"The scars of trauma run deep. An absence of guilt does not mean an absence of pain. Their wounds are still fresh, and their lives have been changed for the worse because of me." He flops back into the pillows. "I've done some awful things myself, even; I've been such a fool to assume I should be forgiven."

The ceiling staring resumes. "I only hurt them by showing up. It was thoughtless. An unforgivable error."